Mid Summer Campout

So this week was pretty boring...kinda getting in the work flow but the days are goin pretty slow. I think its mainly because I work on my own a lot and don't have a chance to interact with people as much. I have been enjoying working with the project people in the home department at Freddys (basically Wal-Mart but better) but it would be nice if I got to work with some other people.

I'm still strugglin through the Kaitlin thing so prayer over that would be much appreciated. Like I said in the last post its one of the first hard things I've had to go through emotionally.

This weekend was really nice though. We went to this place called Saw Mill. It was a beach about 30 miles north of Auke Bay (where UAS is and where I live). Basically the weekend was designed for us to chill and not have an organized go go go weekend. It was needed and much appreciated. We had a sweet camp set up and we basically fished and hung out the whole time. I didn't catch any fish but I got to go halibut fishing and salmon fishing. It was cool to do that for the first time. One of the coolest things we saw though was a pod of orcas. We saw about 20 killer whales swim right by out boat. It was incredible!! One of the orcas swam under our boat and breached about 10 feet from the boat. It was really really cool. Something I will never foget. I also got to kill and crab with my bare hands. You basically crack its skull off then break it in half. It was a lot of fun and I got to eat it about 30 minutes later. Overall the trip was very relaxing and a good switch up from the busy weekend schedule.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers!!

Ginger out

Tough weekend

Well I don't really like being the guy who talks about girl issues but I feel like its appropriate now since its been a big part of my life recently. Unfortunately Kaitlin and I broke up on Saturday night. She told me that she felt that she was depending on me more than Christ. Basically I became very frustrated with myself afterwards and it was tough to accept that fact that I couldn't do anything about it. This was the first relationship that I emotionally invested in. So it was hard for me to lose that relationship. She told me that it would be hard for her if I talked to her at all. So basically I won't be able to talk to someone who was one of my best friends for 2 months, that I normally talked to almost everyday...not fun. I don't fully agree with her decision but I'm not gonna try to change what she felt God told her. Thankfully I have 25 other awesome brothers here in Juneau that have already showed me a lot of love.

A little back story is that I prayed for God to bring a hardship into my life after Christmas break because I realized that my life was so easy and he answered! Sadly this is the roughest thing I've ever had to go through. This is a new thing to me since I've never really been involved in a relationship that was worth anything. I know that God is working though because I have been praying to him non stop for help with this pain and hurt. So I know that something good is going to come out of this but its really hard right now!! Now I understand why people become depressed after break ups...this one really hurt. I would really appreciate prayer that God would reveal himself even more to me through this rough time. He already has for this first week and its been great. Thanks again for everyone who has supported me. This has been the best summer of my life and I thank you for praying for me!!

And Kaitlin if you read this I hope you enjoy New York and Nicaragua. I'll be prayin for ya

Gallon Challenge, Action Group, and Johnson Youth Center

So the Wednesday night meeting (cru) was really good this week. Eric talked about true worship and what that should look like in the church. He said worship came from worthship. So worship is placing worth in something. So that was cool to hear that for the first time. After the meeting was tons of fun though. We did the gallon challenge. If you never heard of this. You have to drink a gallon of milk in one hour then when you finish it (if you finish it) you have to hold it down for one hour. We shortened it and Jesse finished his gallon in 7 minutes!!!! and held it down for 5. It was awesome. Everyone else just puked and didn't finish their milk. It was a lot of fun and there will be some awesome pictures up online soon I hope.

Action group on Thursday was good as always. We are going through the GCL (gospel centered life) and its really good. I went through it this past semester a few times and its very good at making you think. This week talked about how we should constantly beat the gospel into our heads every day. Its our calling in life to spread it so its cool to hear that. I kind of connected the idea with fundamentals in sports. When you know the fundamentals all the other more complicated stuff is easier. So that was really nice. We also had a 30 minute call out session between roommates which was kind of intense but needed. Just got all of our tension out in one evening.

One of the best things I've done this week was I got the chance to go to the Johnson Youth Center. Its a local juvenile detention center. These kids are the worst of the worst from Alaska and its a high security place! We are basically there to love on these kids and try to just befriend them. It was awesome to see how normal these kids were. Some of them are criminals, murderers, and theifs. But at the same time they are kids. They age range from 16-18 so they were pretty fun to hang out with. They rarely get visitors so it was awesome to get to know them and start to build relationships with them. I look forward to hanging with them for the rest of the summer on fridays!!

Oh and the Kaitlin situation is still there. Pray that I make the right decision. I think I know what I'm gonna do but we are gonna talk about it on Saturday night. I just want God to be the center of our relationship so that is gonna be tough if we end up staying together.

God has really been teaching me patience and grace on this trip. Grace is probably one of the most phenominal things I've ever experienced since I've been here. I don't feel the pressure to live out of legalism or performance. I don't have to do things to be accepted by God. God has accepted me so I can do things. Its an awesome reminder and its been keepin me goin on this trip.

Ginger out

Work started!!

Ok so I started work on Monday and it was good to get started. We went through a ton of really corny and terrible instructional videos. It was pretty boring but good to get paid for it and to just get out of our apartment. Our goal for the project is to minister to co-workers and to build authentic relationships, not in that order.

Today was a good day for work. I actually started to do real work. I worked in the garden center today and got to meet one of the workers there. His name was Donald and I look forward to building up trust and getting into some awesome conversations in the future. I'm gonna admit that it was pretty boring at some points especially when I had to work with myself. But overall it has been good to get into the swing of things.

Oh and something I'll just touch on cuz its kinda confusing...Kaitlin and I have had some convos about ending our relationship. Kaitlin feels that she needs to work on her relationship with Christ, which I admire in her that she realizes that. I will admit that its frustrating but her and I are praying and pondering the situation. So I would just ask for prayer for wisdom and accepting/making the right decision. I just don't want this relationship to get in the way of my relationship with Christ. So prayer would be much appreciated.

Ginger out

Lock In and lack of sleep

The lock in was a pretty good time. We had a lot more spiritual talks and breakaway sessions than I'm used to in a lock in. Most lock ins I've gone to are all about fun and nothing else. So with this lock in we had a dating panel where some of the couples and single people from our project took questions about dating. It was good to hear perspectives from other people on dating and relationships in general. Then I went to a breakaway session where some guys from project talked about a guy that tragically died on a missions trip. They talked about his passion and how on fire he was for the Lord. So unfortunately I spent the rest of the lock in feeling guilt and shame about passion and passivity.

I felt shame that I wasn't passionate about Christ in the past. I've tended to be a very laid back guy and never wanted to take any steps of faith and share the gospel. I have found that its not really that hard since I've been here on project. I have been praying for passion to come into my life and I feel that God is working in that and I can feel more passion for God then I ever have but I want to have more passion for the lost. I also struggled with realizing that I haven't lead Kaitlin in the best Godly way for the past few months. I just want to make sure that I lead correctly and don't get too emotionally attached to her. I need to put God first. I understand why its so hard to have a Christ-centered relationship with a girl now. Its so hard to keep God in front of someone who you really like.

But today and last night talkin to my roommate I've experienced grace in that. I know that Satan is the root of the shame and guilt because I know that isn't of God. I realized that I shouldn't feel guilty about the past and I should focus on my future in Christ. I think if I just focus on loving God and growing in that then I loving others and Kaitlin will come naturally. I just want to continue to lead well and take steps of faith to share the gospel.

So overall had some guilt and shame but grace has kept me from staying in that state of mind. I tend to beat myself up too much so I really like how God's grace makes me feel. It makes life less pressure filled because I realize that I don't have to perform for God.

Ginger out

Accountability and Lock In

Last night was pretty awesome. We had some nice taco soup for dinner which did wonders for us later because everyone was farting A LOT. Its not a bad thing just a side effect of beans. We did some Gospel Centered Life bible study after that and it was a good check on self righteousness. It lists some things that you take too much pride in and that you need to be kept in check for.

Then we had accountability which was tough for me. I don't really like to tell everyone what my sins are if I'm honest. I don't think anyone does. But I've seen good out of it...its cool to see your brothers encourage you and love you through that. I hope thats something I'm able to take back with me to Mizzou.

Tonight there is a lock in at one of the local Juneau churches. That is the main reason I'm updating my blog now. I'm gonna be completely drained by tomorrow morning when I get to go to bed. I'm also giving my testimony tonight and trying to preach the gospel a little bit which is kinda new to me so pray for me that I would be able to effectively communicate my story and how God has taken a hold of my heart recently. I am just gonna tell the story of how my faith became my own this past semester and not my parents faith. I am glad my parents taught me how to live the christian life but I've just recently realized I need a personal relationship with Chris to keep me goin. Hopefully the lock in will be tons of fun and I won't get much sleep. Pray for energy for the next few days for me haha

Ginger out

Mendenhall Glacier

Last night we hiked out for manhood development. I got to hear the life story of a couple of the guys again and I really enjoy that. Its part of the authentic relationships. Hearing about their past and present issues and struggles has been awesome to see how much better your relationship can be after that. We made it to mendenhall glacier which was absolutely gorgeous! Its a 12 miile glacier fed by an ice field in the mountains.

When we got there we were asked to write down and think about the stuff you want to do when you get back to your respective campus. I liked it because I've been wanting to get into discipleship and bible study leading. I also just took the time to realize that there is gonna be failure in that at some point and I should be ok with whatever God puts in front of me. I basically want to live out God's will for my life and hope that I'm ok with it and learn to love and see people the way God does.

I took some video of when we got to the glacier and when we climbed underneath it. It was a tremendous sight to see under the glacier. We also got our project fleeces and got to drink Weinhard's root beer. I don't even like root beer but those Weinhards are legit!!

Glaciers are my favorite form of water!

Dance part tonight so I'm excited to let loose and cut some rug

Ginger out

Summitting Mt. Juneau

So yesterday I, along with 10 other people, summitted Mt. Juneau. It was a very difficult hike. I have never hiked a mountain before so I was going in thinking it would be hard but not too crazy. I was wrong. Its supposed to be one of the easiest mountains in Juneau and I struggled a good bit. My legs were barkin at me after about 30 minutes of hiking. It took up 3 1/2 hours to hike up to the summit and 1 1/2 hours to hike back down. The way up was the worst because my legs felt like they were on fire. Here is a video of the summit...it was quite possibly the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Mt. Juneau domination

Then on Monday night we had our memory verse to recite. I screwed it up so I felt really bad for the other guys. When we recite memory verses we stand in a big circle and go around saying our verse. If you get it right you go down into a leg lift, plank, or push up position til everyone finishes. But if you screw up you have to watch everyone else work out. I felt bad for screwing it up. Then we had to work out after that and we did a good amount of lunges, up downs, and snake up push ups. Basically I got pretty tired and winded. I felt pretty weak after that. I think I was dehydrated or something. I didn't feel too good for the rest of the night. I got to have some good convo with Kaitlin later though. I feel like our conversations just keep getting better and better as the summer goes along.

Ginger out

Camping with the action group

So last night we had this awesome camping trip. It first started out with all 7 of us cramming into a Chevy Lumina with 7 hiking backpacks. It was insanely tight and wasn't too much fun for the guys in the back. Anyway we hiked about 2 miles to get to our campsite then we set up camp. We heard that you could climb up this huge pipe up to a dam that had an awesome view (video will be posted). So we decided to hike were we weren't supposed to and it was so worth it. We hiked about 2 or 3 more miles up to the reservoir and took some awesome pictures and video.

Campin with the fellas

Then for dinner we ate hobo meals. I'm new to this concept but they were delicious. You basically take hot dogs and brats, hashbrowns, carrots, celery, cheese, onions, and some seasoning salt then you wrap it in aluminum foil and throw it in the fire to cook. It was so delicious after hiking that much. Overall a great night. Didn't have my quiet time for the day but I think I'm just gonna do two quiet times now to make up for it. God has been great on this trip and I feel like I can't give him enough thanks. Don't wanna take him for granted.

Ginger out

Cru Meeting, Action Group, and workin with my hands

So on Wednesday night of every week we have our cru meeting. We start at 8pm in the chapel on the campus of UAS. I am actually on the weekly meeting team so I get to help out with planning the meetings and possibly setting up the after parties that we have each week. I'm pretty excited about the series of talks we will hear from Eric who is a local youth pastor I think. We are talking about what the church should actually look like. He talked about how church is seen as something people do on Sundays and not a daily lifestyle. I'm pumped to see where that is gonna go. We were supposed to have a dance party afterwards but it got cancelled which kinda sucked. I got to see Kaitlin and talk to her for a little bit afterwards which is always nice. Its just good to see her and have good conversation. I know she is really stressed from work so I just try to bring her mood up and her stress level down.

On Thursday we volunteered for a local native american celebration that is ironically called Celebration 2010. We helped move chairs and usher people for the dance performances. It was kind of boring because there weren't that many people there so there was no need for us. The best part of the day was action group. Basically our apartment is our action group. So we have 7 guys where we just hang out in community and do a bible study every Thursday night. We cooked chicken enchiladas for dinner which were delicious then went to Auke Rec and set up a campfire to sit around and do our bible study. On a side note we like on Auke bay which is about 10 minutes northwest of downtown Juneau. Then we had an awesome time going through a study called the Gospel Centered Life. Its really good and I have gone through it at Mizzou with some of our cru guys. I got to tell some of my fellow roommates how I felt about them. Jay is one of my roommates who has been getting on my nerves lately. So it was good to tell him that and we have been getting along better now. It will take time for me to really befriend him in the future but I think it will happen. So overall Thursday night was an awesome time with the roommates.

Today I got to work at a church called Douglas Island Bible Church. We moved some gravel off the parking lot and dug out a channel for the water to run off in. Juneau uses gravel in the winter for snow instead of salt. I guess its so their tires get better traction and the salt is just a waste of time and money. So it was great to use my hands and get a good half day of outdoor work in! Now everyone in my apartment is asleep and I'm typing my blog. We are gonna go camping tonight with our action group just for an overnight thing which will be fun!

Ginger out

Manhood Development and Job rollercoaster

So last night we did manhood development which is a weekly thing we do on Tuesdays. Its basically to test us physically and rely on the Lord for strength. I personally don't like those kind of things. I think they are kind of macho and not really worth much. But I prayed before we started to keep my attitude the best I could. And I feel like God helped me with that. We had to carry a log which symbolized our sins and burdens. That just made the hike a lot more difficult. We also had to put all 26 of us guys, our logs, and our bags over a 6' tall rope without touching it. Basically it was a long and hard process and we had to start over if we touched the rope. Then we took our logs to the glacier-fed river and did pushups with our logs on our back. Then we wrote in our journals the struggles that we have and the sin we carry.

We then threw our logs on a fire and talked to the staff guys about our struggles. It was nice to talk to the staff about that stuff and make sure that we are open and vulnerable with one another. The whole being completely open and vulnerable thing is new to me but its definitely worth it. I feel really close to some of these guys and I've only known them for a week.

Then today ended my job rollercoaster. I went into Safeway this morning at 9 thinking I would be working all day. I got there and just got a packet to read and was told I wouldn't get many hours. So I sat at home and thought about it and called Fred Meyer (its basically Juneau's version of Wal Mart, where all the locals shop). I called her and she said she had a job for me so I sat around all day weighing the decision to call safeway and tell them I needed at least 30 hours. Since they couldn't give me that I called Freddys and got a job there. That job is gonna be awesome because I get paid well and I'll get a minimum of 32 hours a week. So the whole job thing drove me nuts this entire week but I finally got a solid job (and a discount on food).

So my past few days have been interesting but God is still working!! I really appreciate what God is doin in my life and I'm learning how to praise him for it and really love him for it. I take him for granted all the time and I hope and pray that changes. Thanks for the support and prayers. Prayer for me has been huge so praying for me would be much appreciated!

Ginger out

I'm really tired

I just got home and I'm excited about work tomorrow...so I will try to update the blog after work. Pray that work goes well and I get to meet a lot of new people to have spiritual conversations.